I had a friend ask me recently, “When do you know God’s love and presence the most?” My answer was in the greatest pain and darkest times I can see His goodness the best. I know my desperation for Him more in those days. It seems that in my suffering and disappointment, the Lord reveals Himself to me in deeper ways: His joy, His peace, His presence, His love. Honestly, I do not always press into those promises from Him. Many times I get discouraged and disappointed that life is not how I thought it should be. My desire is to be completely content in the Lord. He never ceases to amaze me with His grace and goodness. Psalm 3:3-5 has ministered a lot to me lately, “But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy hill. I lay down and slept; I woke again, for the Lord sustained me.”
The last several months have been hard. I made the year and a half mark with the chemotherapy, Trodelvy. It is a tough drug to endure (the side effects, the infusion). I do not even think I could properly describe the process of sickness and side effects. However, the medication is working for my benefit, and I am so grateful! My quarterly pet scan in January looked good! There has been some concern about my liver so I had an MRI and that too came back with good results!
I have been struggling with severe allergies the past three weeks as I am sure many of you have also. I am much better the last few days; however, last Monday my chemo was called off because I was not strong enough. I am struggling to fight off a lingering cough that will not seem to go away (especially at nighttime).
I am so thankful for your prayers. I am reminded that Spurgeon said “No man can do me a truer kindness in this world than to pray for me.” I feel the same way. I am eternally grateful for your prayers. I know the Lord is working to bring glory to Himself. Please pray for me that I would be strong for chemo tomorrow and that the cough that I have would leave. We have several appointments the next couple weeks at the infusion center. I also will have chemo on March 27. Chemo is always on Mondays! I love y’all and am thankful for you being on this journey with me.
Grace and Peace,
Melissa
