The Journey Is Getting Harder

I've been putting off writing this blog entry. It has been a difficult three months with the new chemotherapy treatment. A few months ago, I wrote that immunotherapy had stopped working (new cancer was forming). Although chemotherapy has seldom worked for me, my oncologist felt like Trodelvy (a new drug that came out of clinical trials a little over a year ago) would be a great match for me. It fits my criteria: targets triple negative cancer, for people who don't respond well to chemo, and for those who surgery is no longer an option. My journey on the new drug started September 13, almost three months ago.

These past three months have been the hardest and darkest of this five and a half year cancer journey. I want to be honest and as real with you as I can. The majority of this hard time is attributed to side effects of the chemo. I have been on many different treatments over the years, but this by far surpasses them all in way of the hardship of side effects. To give you a glimpse: I have experienced stomach issues, headaches, aches, pains, confusion, constant fatigue, restlessness, anemia, dehydration, low potassium, etc. This is not an exhaustive list by any means. Some weeks I am at the hospital fifteen hours (this includes getting chemo, labs, fluids, potassium). I have chemo on Mondays: two weeks on, one week off. The first Monday starts tomorrow at 9am.

Before starting the chemo drip through my port, I have a series of pre-meds to take in order for the chemo drug to be tolerable. There are over ten pre-meds that are given to me in my port over about an hour. These are meant to also lessen my side effects. After that, the chemotherapy drug runs for two hours. It is possible at anytime to have a reaction to the drug even though I have had eight treatments already. Steroids is a common drug that I am given on chemo day. I have had a minor case of type 2 diabetes, but that has recently changed because of the amount and consistency of the steroids given to me. A couple weeks ago insulin became a new factor in my medications.

I recently had a pet scan and cat scans. The results showed that the cancer is shrinking. As wicked as it is, the Trodelvy is working. I am very thankful. The hard news is that my oncologist says that I must stay on this treatment because the cancer will grow if I do not. How long? As long as I'm here. The cancer is stage 4. She will still scan me every three months, and if anything changes with those scans for the negative, changes to treatment will be made. This is both good and very difficult news to accept. My oncologist recognizes that my quality of life is not good, and she is working on ways to help that (reducing the percentage of chemo I receive, new nausea meds, etc.)

I'm not telling you all this because I'm complaining or because I want you to feel sorry for me. Please don't. I just need your prayers. I want you to know what is going on. I'm so thankful that you read this blog and are on this journey with me.

Here are some specific things you can pray for:

• Minimal side effects from chemo / healing

• My heart would be encouraged with the joy of the Lord

• I would have opportunities and be faithful to share the Gospel with those I come into contact

As I have been honest about the physical pain and anguish I have been going through, I have all confidence that the Lord Jesus is in control of my life, and He is faithful. That is where my faith lies. I know we are all going through some kind of difficulty. You can call out to the Lord, and He will listen. Corrie ten Boom once said, "There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still." I'm trusting His steadfast love for chemo tomorrow and all the other days that follow.

Grace and Peace,

Melissa